This blog is dedicated to all my INTJ friends and companions with whom I share the wonderful relationship of the “pedagogue” .
Hello everyone!!! 🙂 I am back after a really long time, Had barely time to breathe the past few weeks…
I have just discovered that the best thing about blogging is, I can blog about whatever catches my fancy, any of my innermost thoughts and feelings, without having to feel apologetic ever of hogging the complete conversation..:) (not that I realize that many times in real life, as my friends constantly tell me..Sigh!!!)
I can write for hours about Psychology and MBTI, without having anyone to tell me- ‘no, not again’ ‘stop with your obsession’ etc…so in short this blog world is a heaven.
Anyways coming back to my title. Emma, is one of my Fav Jane Austen novels (After Pride and Prejudice of course). I was reminded of it because yesterday they played the hindi movie “Aisha” on TV, which is based on Emma (tears of frustration), please don’t watch that movie and think thats what Emma is all about if you haven’t read it. Because its not, its most definitely not.
In Aisha, Emma (played by Sonam Kapoor) is represented as a dumb, rich chic and that is very very far from the truth in the novel.The movie has also wasted the super talented Abhay Deol (who in reality is perfect for the character of Mr.Knightley the hero of the novel :))
Emma is a character I again relate to, so will some other women I know (I hardly wirte about characters I can’t relate to, its a flaw). The story of Emma, reminds me of my association with a dear friend (who of course is startlingly like Mr.Knightley)
Austen quoted about Emma that “She is a heroine, whom no one else might like too much, except myself”. Note to readers Jane Austen is typed as an INTJ in MBTI and Emma..surprise surprise : as an ENFP..:) (Please don’t give me that look, I am already thinking about renaming my blog :P)
So Emma is this Rich, beautiful, clever yet thouroughly spoilt girl, who’s totally headstrong. She has all the right intentions, yet she has such supreme confidence in herself that she barely pauses to think she might be doing wrong. Emma is charming and popular and therefore gets away with many things. Her greatest hobby is matchmaking- between other people. She loves the concept of finding and bringing together 2 people who are ‘perfectly’ matched for each other and giving them a fairytale ending (see there are people like me in books :P) anyways she believes in this so much and she wants to help so much that needless to say she disregards common sense, which is constantly pointed out to her by Mr.Knigtley. Almost everyone-her dad, her governess, her sister, her friends adore and look up to her. I said almost..:) and then there is Mr.Knightley.
Ahhh! Mr.Knigtley, the only one who can resist Emma’s charms (or so it seems to her) and can bear to tell her the truth to her face, can tell her to her face that she’s acting like an idiot. Of course that doesn’t go down well with her most times (she isn’t used to being contradicted or not adored) and so there’s this constant undercurrent between the two of them.
If I can analyze Emma’s feelings, I would say that she discovers early on (consciously unknown to her) that Mr.Knigtley is the only one who truly knows her and although she wont admit it, she’s comforted by the fact that he tells her the truth and finds faults in her with all honesty. But well no one likes being shown the mirror, so Emma disregards Mr.Knigtley and continues playing the matchmaking game.
The novel beautifully moves on in the old English countryside, with complex and wonderful characters (which is typical of the intelligent Austen) who are lauded and ridiculed in all fairness. Needless to say Emma is tangled in a web of all her mistaken matchmaking and realizes late that Mr.Knigtley was right after all. She also realizes, that the man she sometimes thought she couldn’t stand is in fact the man she loves and needs desperately- she needs Mr.Knigtley.
Mr.Knigtley on the other hand has always loved Emma, he thinks of her as a clever bright child, spoilt to have her way and wants to gently correct her. He hasn’t resisted her charms, but he has the ability to love her after not being blind to her charms alone, love her with her faults, love her despite it or maybe love her for it.
The relationship that Mr.Knigtley and Emma share is the beautiful relationship of the pedagogue. MBTI, more specifically typelogic says that, it is the relationship shared by a few couples (to find the different types : http://typelogic.com/pairs.html ) one of the pairs who shares this is the legendary INTJ-ENFP. Again I have no doubt Austen being an INTJ herself has again written about a type close to her heart, this time from a different angle. Let me explain:
Pedagouge relationships are those, where each person is both the mentor and student to the other, each can learn from the other, yet each loves the other despit his/her faults.
In Pride and Prejudice, we had an ENFP heroine Elizabeth, who taught the INTJ Darcy, to loosen up, to trust people, to leave behind his arrogance (which is characteristic of INTJ :P), to love and laugh and enjoy the world.
In Emma, we have the INTJ Mr.Knightley teaching the ENFP Emma, to use logic, discretion and common sense, to learn to be rational and not get carried away.
No wonder each loves the other. Each possess what the other needs to learn. Therin lies the charm of the Pedagogue. Whether you have a friend or a partner, or a family member who shares this relationship with you, cherish it beacuse it will most definitely make you better.
Like I said at the outset :
This blog is dedicated to all my INTJ friends and companions with whom I share the wonderful relationship of the “pedagogue” I admire you for your logic and rationale and I although I don’t like it when you are right over me, I have to admit (maybe I don’t do it openly) I am secretly pleased that you are there to show me the way.